“Moses and Aaron turned away from the people and went to the entrance of the Tabernacle, where they fell face down on the ground. Then the glorious presence of the LORD appeared to them, and the LORD said to Moses, “You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community. As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water. You will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock.””
Numbers 20:6-8 NLT
[What Moses actually did.]
“Then he and Aaron summoned the people to come and gather at the rock. “Listen, you rebels!” he shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill.” Numbers 20:10-11 NLT
[The consequence]
“But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!” This place was known as the waters of Meribah (which means “arguing”) because there the people of Israel argued with the LORD, and there he demonstrated his holiness among them.” Numbers 20:12-13 NLT
O: I GOT IT!!!! The hurt that all six of us experienced in our own way I have been able to deal with. There is no amount of conversation that will change the hurt they have. Being the true Liz despite of the pain shows them we are not defined by the sins of mom nor are we defined by our past. Only we can shape our future by using the hurt to manifest who we are. Moses was chosen by God and had experienced God in two unique ways no one in the bible or on earth has ever experienced. Yet he did not listen to God when God commanded him to speak to the rock and the rock will pour out water. Instead Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. Moses disobeyed Gods command. Moses did not trust God enough to demonstrate his holiness by simply speaking to the rock. Therefore, Moses did not lead the Israelites into the land God had giving them.
God is the God of this city! He has commanded me to help people discover who they are by by building then into confident and courageous speakers. So far since I've been in Denver I've allowed John to try and tell me who I am and what's my worth. Although this revelation was revealed I've allowed myself to engage in a small conversation that would have been escalated if not stopped when it was stopped. All these situations can hinder me from speaking, including speaking about my health and how I have overcome it.
A: I am no longer apart of the Williams Family and I have to accept that. I am apart of Gods family and he has commanded me to do things beyond the resolute protection the Williams have become accustomed to. In a schizophrenic episode, a tipsy prideful mindset, an attempt to make it all right and an overbearing mediator unable to be stable we are all drawn by the dysfunction and gravitate to each other. However, God has changed my name. I am ELLSWORTH NOW!!!! I will never be the same. I am not better then them, I simply have chosen to use my pain as my greatest asset. As CJ said, use what they say about you as apart of the building of the brand. The false identity created from someone else's assumptions of you can lead to a downward unhealthy spiral or can be manifested into a business to help people in the same situation. I am not my Sinologist savior and I am not determined to protect the dysfunction we call Williams. I am Elizabeth Bernice Ellsworth!!!! I am reclaiming my marriage, my city, my name and my life. This is the city of Meribah. I have argued with mom, I have argued with Tana, I've even argues with God yet he will prove himself and demonstrate his holiness among all of us.
P: Oh God, oh magnificent and holy one you are. You worthy to be praised and all the honor is yours. You are a God of numbers and also a God of names. You give names and you take them away. We have restored the name of a city and the name of your kingdom. You brought me hear to Denver, to a valley in order for me to experience the mountain top!!!! It's my final amen soon into who I am to be. You are naming God. Please. Give me strength as I reclaim! All for your glory God, breaking chains for the legacy of the next generation. WHOOO!!!! In Jesus mighty name, amen
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